Everything I Want (The Everything Series Book 3) Read online

  “Wouldn’t miss it,” Wes assured me.

  Zane agreed, “We’ll be there. Let us know if either of you needs anything between now and then.”

  “I do,” Nikki spoke up. “I’d like to invite Luke but, oddly enough, I don’t have his number. Would either of you be able to let him know about it for me?”

  Wes and Zane both dazzled us with their sexy grins.

  “We’ll give you his number. You can invite him yourself,” Wes shared.

  Nikki’s face lit up. “That would be great as long as you think he won’t mind.”

  “He’s not going to mind,” Zane reassured her as he chuckled. “Though, I’m sure he’ll be here later tonight, so you could ask him for it.”

  And that’s when the sadness washed over me. I looked down in my lap attempting to avoid everyone’s eyes and trying to regain my composure.

  Why? Why did I have to feel the connection to the one person who wouldn’t have me?

  “Monroe?” Emme called.

  I looked up.

  “You alright?” she asked.

  I tried to swallow past the tightness in my throat and gave a downward jerk of my chin to answer her.

  “You sure?”

  No, but I wasn’t going to ruin everyone else’s night. I needed to get onto another topic.

  “Yeah, completely.”

  Our food arrived shortly thereafter and I pushed back the sadness. We ate, I told everyone about my new employee, and then everyone else joined in the conversation with their own bits of news. After dinner, we made our way up to the saloon to watch Elle perform. I had such a strong will when I was home getting ready to come here, but now knowing that I would be seeing Stone at any moment put my nerves on edge. I needed to find a way to pull it together.

  We walked through the main bar area and through to the next room where Elle would be performing. Locating a table toward the front of the room, we sat. It was then that it hit me. I began remembering the last time I was here -- when I was up on stage and made a fool of myself. It was, by far, the most humiliating experience of my life. I just hoped that nobody here tonight recognized me from that night. I needed to get away for a minute to collect my thoughts.

  I leaned into Nikki and whispered in her ear, “Need to run to the ladies’ room. Will you come with me?”

  She took one look at my face and pushed her chair back from the table.

  Nikki and I took off back to the main bar room and down the hall to the bathroom. As soon as we stepped inside she turned toward me and asked, “What’s happening?”

  “Charley called me earlier this afternoon when I was getting ready. She said she suspects Stone will be here tonight because they all always come to support Elle. I thought I’d be able to handle it, but I’m freaking out a bit. Then, as soon as we sat down in there all I could think about was what happened the last time I was here.”

  “You want to go? I’ll tell everyone I’m not feeling well and that you’re going to come back home with me. We’ll call an Uber and get out of here.”

  I shook my head. I didn’t want to ruin her night. I saw the look on her face when she realized Luke was going to be here.

  “No, it’s okay. I just need a minute. Maybe I need a drink, too.”

  “We can definitely do that. Let’s go out and sit at the bar until Elle starts. If you want to rejoin the group then we can. If not, that’s alright with me, too.

  With that, we did our business in the bathroom and made our way to the bar. Luckily, since Elle was about to start soon, it wasn’t overly crowded and we managed to find two open stools. We sat and ordered drinks. It wasn’t typical for me to need liquid courage; however, I’ve never faced this type of situation before now. I figured a little wouldn’t hurt.

  I was nearly finished with my first drink when I heard someone come up and say, “Mind if I buy you your next one?”

  I turned to my left and saw a good-looking guy had settled in on the stool next to mine. He had a dazzling smile, dark hair, and beautiful eyes. They weren’t Stone’s baby blues, but they were still captivating.

  I smiled back at him and stated, “Sorry, but I don’t accept drinks from people I don’t know.”

  “Smart woman,” he began, as he held his hand out to me. “My name’s Christian.”

  “Monroe,” I replied, as I gave him mine in return.

  “You here with anyone tonight?” he asked.

  “Just some friends,” I answered.

  Christian caught the bartender’s attention and declared, “Another of whatever she was having and I’ll take a Jack and Coke.”

  “I thought I said I didn’t accept drinks from people I don’t know?”

  “You did, but you know my name now. What else do you want to know?”

  “I don’t know. Why are you being so persistent?”

  He gave me a look like he thought I was a crazy person. “Have you seen yourself?” he asked. “Saw you walk in and knew I wanted to introduce myself and buy you a drink.”

  The bartender returned with our drinks and Christian paid. I picked up the drink, turned my back to the bar, and said, “Thanks.”

  He grabbed his drink in one hand and brought the other out to rest on my thigh before he returned, “You’re welcome.”

  I froze and looked down at his hand. When I looked back up at him, he squeezed my thigh.

  “Hey, Luke,” I heard Nikki say behind me.

  I turned my head to the side and saw Luke had approached. “Hey, babe,” he greeted her before he glanced over at me. “Hi, Monroe,” he acknowledged me as he also quickly took in the hand resting on my thigh before he looked to the arm and then body that the hand was connected to. He looked a bit angry for a moment before he brought his eyes back to mine and they softened.

  “Hi, Luke,” I offered timidly. This was mostly because standing immediately behind Luke was Stone and his eyes were burning into the hand on my thigh. His eyes came up to mine only briefly before going to Christian’s. What I saw in them then was not nice. It was a borderline-lethal glare. His jaw was clenching and he was definitely not happy. He said nothing to me, but gave me one last glance before he walked away. I watched his back as he disappeared into the crowd.

  “You know him?” Christian asked from beside me.

  I turned to look back at him and answered honestly, “Yeah. We have a couple of mutual friends.”

  “There’s nothing going on between the two of you, is there?”

  I took in a deep breath, let it out, and admitted, “Not at all.”

  I felt a tap on my shoulder. With Luke still by her side, Nikki informed me, “Elle’s about to start. You want to stay here or go in there?”

  “We can go in. Give me a second, okay?”

  She nodded.

  I turned back to Christian and explained, “We’re here to watch Elle tonight so I’m going to head back in there with my friends.”

  “Sure,” he started. “It was nice to meet you, Monroe.”

  “Thanks for the drink,” I repeated. Then, I’m not sure where the courage came from, but I added, “If you’re around afterward, you’ll be able to find me on the dancefloor.”

  A sexy grin spread across his face. “I’ll see you later then.”

  I smiled back at him before I hopped down off the stool with my drink in my hand and followed Nikki and Luke into the next room to watch Elle.

  Stone

  This was not going to be a good night. It had already been a miserable fucking week and it seemed as though it was about to turn into a miserable fucking weekend.

  All week I’d been replaying one of several different scenes in my head. It was either Monroe up on stage weeks ago singing karaoke, Monroe dancing in her studio Sunday morning, me kissing Monroe on Saturday night, or worse yet, Monroe dancing Sunday afternoon until she collapsed on the floor of her studio in tears followed by her walking out hours later with a red face and puffy eyes. It was absolute fucking torture reliving any one of those moments mostl
y because the first three made me want to witness or experience all of them again and the last made me feel like I wanted to throw up. I couldn’t explain it; I just knew that seeing the hurt in her that I did was agonizing.

  If all that wasn’t bad enough, I walked into Lou’s tonight and saw her sitting there at the bar looking more beautiful than ever and Christian fucking Black had his God-damn, filthy hand on her thigh. I wanted, more than anything, to walk right up to him and physically remove his hand from her. I didn’t because I had no right. I took one last look at Monroe, loving the way she looked tonight, and walked away.

  It was only a few minutes after I sat down with Wes, Charley, Zane, and Emme when Monroe, Nikki, and Luke joined us. Of course, I ended up in the seat right next to Monroe. When she sat next to me, she gave me a sad smile before she looked to the stage.

  Fuck. Not only did she look dynamite, but she also smelled so fucking good.

  I tried to pay attention to Elle’s show, but couldn’t stop myself from glancing over at Monroe throughout. I fought every urge in my body to put my arm around her waist, pull her into my lap, and kiss those pouty lips.

  When Elle finished her set, she came over to say hello before she took off for the night. The girls then took off to dance. I don’t think I was ever so grateful in my life. I needed a bit of space or I wasn’t going to be able to hold back what I was feeling much longer.

  I watched Monroe as she danced. I could watch that woman dance all day every day and it’d never grow old. Sadly, it was the biggest fucking turn on, so I’m not sure I’d be able to control myself if that ever happened. I was only thankful now that we were in public where it’d be frowned upon for me to do anything about what I felt when she danced. Of course, these are all the excuses I kept giving myself when the reality is that if I wasn’t so fucked up in my own head I wouldn’t give a shit what anyone thought about me doing what I wanted with her.

  It will hit you when you least expect it and you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it.

  What the fuck? Why was that popping into my head? I brushed off the thought and continued watching Monroe.

  It wasn’t even two minutes later when my body seized in the chair. Monroe was dancing and there was an arm wrapped around her waist. Christian, scum of the Earth, had his hands on her and had his body pressed into hers from behind. She tensed briefly, but relaxed the moment she saw it was him.

  “Oh, shit,” Luke, who was sitting two chairs away from me, announced. “I’m not getting a good feeling about this. Stone’s brooding.”

  I looked to Wes and Zane. “You guys bring her here?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Wes answered.

  “She does not fucking leave here with that asshole,” I bit out.

  “She’s a grown woman, man. And, she’s single. If she chooses to do that I can’t stop her,” Zane responded.

  “Seriously?” I challenged, shock in my voice.

  “What do you want me to say?” he wondered. “You aren’t interested in her. You think nobody else is going to look at her or that she should be alone?”

  “Didn’t say that. He’s a fucking player and you know he’s only going to be after one thing.”

  Wes interjected. “How would that make him any different than you given what you do week in and week out with all of your women?”

  I jerked back at his statement. “I’m up front with every woman I’m with. They all know that there won’t be more than just a night of fucking. That asshole will wine and dine and make promises of forever to get what he wants and then he’ll be gone. You and I both know it.”

  “Maybe. At least, that’s who we know him as. Maybe he’d change for the right woman. Perhaps she could be that girl for him; she’s not exactly the typical girl you’d pick up in a bar that goes home with a different guy every night.”

  “I don’t know if I’d go that far.”

  “Bro,” Luke piped up from beside me. “What the fuck did you just say?”

  “That girl has got so many fucking men in her life, it’s unbelievable,” I retorted exasperatedly.

  “Monroe?” Zane asked in disbelief.

  I nodded.

  “You’re getting close to crossing a line you shouldn’t,” Wes warned.

  “Last Saturday, I spent the day with Monroe at her studio after finding her alongside the road with a flat tire that morning. When I pulled up she was on the phone with some guy named Vaughn who, before she got off the phone with him, she told she missed him. Then, back at her studio later that afternoon she got a call from a different guy named Remi and, before she got off the phone with him, she told him she loved him. That night, before she and I left there, I fucking kissed her. This was only hours after she told some other guy she loved him,” I explained, pausing for a minute.

  When I spoke again, my voice was a bit louder, “The next day I told her that I couldn’t pursue anything with her and that I shouldn’t have initiated that kiss. I did that because I thought that girl wanted a serious relationship…that she wanted to find love. I can’t give her that, so I was honest about it to be fair to her. I’m realizing maybe I was wrong, though. She had the two guys from her Saturday phone calls, me that she kissed that night, and now she’s here dancing with Christian Black. I must have misjudged her and now I’m thinking I should have taken her up on what she was offering. Had I known that all she wanted was a good fuck I wouldn’t have stepped aside.”

  There was an audible gasp.

  I looked up to see Monroe standing there with her girls, tears immediately filling her eyes.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  “Monroe…” I said, trailing off.

  She held her hand up and interjected, “It’s fine, Stone. At least now I know what you really think of me. Please, don’t say anything else.”

  She looked to her friends, fighting to keep the tears from falling. “I think I’m going to call it a night. I’m going to go see if I can pick up a guy at the bar to take me home. Hopefully I won’t have to offer him too much of myself in return.”

  She looked back to me and held my eyes a minute before she turned and walked to the door.

  Charley’s eyes went from a retreating Monroe to Wes. “Wes, we have to get her and take her home,” she pleaded.

  Wes was already standing when he looked to me and promised, “You don’t know it yet, but you just fucked up…big time.”

  With that, he walked out with Charley and Nikki.

  My eyes drifted from their departing bodies to Emme, who was now sitting at the table across from me with tears in her eyes.

  “I would never judge you for making the decision you have to not pursue a romantic relationship. You know that I understand that more than anyone else here. I was at a place where I swore I’d never be with someone again and I had valid reasons for that. Zane bulldozed through the walls I had up and I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life. I hope that you can work through whatever you are dealing with and can get to a place where you find a way to love someone. I say this because it’s worth it. As hurt as I am about what you said about my best friend tonight, I still want you to find not only the happiness, but also the peace that comes along with having a love like I have with Zane. I don’t know your story, Stone, but you know mine. The peace that love will bring you will not only make your life full in ways you couldn’t even imagine existed, but it will also heal you.”

  Emme turned to Zane and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She melted into him and he took her weight as he stood with his arm around her shoulders.

  “You know I’d take a bullet for you, man, but what you just said about her…fuck, you’re going to regret it,” Zane added to Emme’s sentiments.

  Zane and Emme walked out and I sat there with Luke. Was Emme right? Could finding love heal you? No. I knew it couldn’t. Love fucking destroyed you. Maybe that’s why right now I felt like absolute shit. The look on Monroe’s face when she heard what I said eviscerated me. I wanted, no, I needed to make i
t up to her. Regretful wasn’t even the word to describe how I felt right now.

  I heard a noise from beside me and looked to see Luke, the asshole that he was, fucking smirking at me.

  “What’s your deal?” I asked.

  “I’m not the one with the deal. Seems to me that you’re just as gone for that girl as she is for you.”

  “Bullshit,” I scoffed, not wanting to admit it.

  “You can say what you want. I know you are…you just need to admit it to yourself and then do something about it. Hopefully, it doesn’t take you too long and that by the time you get your head out of your ass she hasn’t already moved on.”

  “Forget doing something about it, Luke. Did you not just hear what I said about Monroe right in front of her? I’ll be lucky if that girl ever fucking looks at me again,” I confessed.

  “Maybe you should try apologizing to her,” he suggested.

  “I don’t think it’s going to be that easy.”

  “Nothing worth having ever is, but it’s a start.”

  “Okay, Mr. Philosophical,” I said, rolling my eyes at him. “You ready to get out of here?”

  “Yeah, man. Let’s go.”

  Luke and I walked out.

  I got in my truck and drove away.

  Only, I didn’t go home.

  Chapter 6

  Monroe

  I was numb. My mind couldn’t stop replaying over and over the words I heard Stone say. He thought so little of me. No wonder he wanted nothing to do with me. Tears streamed down my face. I stopped drying them because they came right back anyway.

  Wes, Charley, and Nikki followed me when I walked out of the bar and we were just now pulling into the parking lot at the condo. Wes parked and came around to open Charley’s door to help her out. I had already opened my door and was halfway out when Wes held out a hand to make sure I got down safely. He did the same with Nikki who followed behind me. Then, the four of us walked to the condo. Charley and Nikki walked on one side of me while Wes walked on the other side and kept me pulled tight to his body.