Everything I Have (The Everything Series Book 2) Read online

  “Fuck, Emme. Stop fucking apologizing like you’ve done something wrong. I was here last night not just because you asked me to be, but because it’s where I wanted to be. And, I’ll say it again, I’m not fucking leaving you here by yourself today.”

  Well, fuck, he could be scary. I looked away as my eyes filled with tears. He was so angry and I didn’t want to make him even more angry so I figured it was best to say nothing.

  His finger came to rest on my jaw as he turned my head back so that I was facing him. A look of remorse washed over his face.

  “Emme, I didn’t mean to upset you and I’m sorry for getting frustrated. I just don’t understand why you think it’s ok for you to be alone today. I’d love for you to cook me breakfast this morning. But after, sweetheart, I’d really like for you to come with me to my place so I can shower and change my clothes before going to have lunch with my family.”

  My eyes got big and I stared at him. I was not expecting that. His voice was so tender, too, as he spoke. I was not sure I was up to the task. Sure, I’d absolutely make him breakfast. Heck, I’d even consider going with him to his place so that he could shower and change his clothes. But lunch with his family? No way. Not a chance.

  “Zane…I really appreciate the invitation, but I can’t go.”

  “Why not? You don’t have any other plans this afternoon and I’ll make sure we’re back in plenty of time for dinner with Charley and Wes.”

  “But Zane — this is your family. And it’s Christmas. You and I just met.”

  “Your point being?” he asked.

  “I can’t intrude on something like that. Besides, I told you last night, I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”

  “You wouldn’t be intruding. I’m inviting you as my guest. And I know where you stand, Emme. Can’t say I’m not disappointed and won’t try to change your mind, but it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Friends don’t let each other spend the holidays alone. You don’t want to go, fine. I’ll just give my family a call and let them know I won’t be coming today.”

  He wanted to change my mind? Now I really felt guilty.

  I rolled my eyes at him and said, “Well there’s nothing like twisting my arm. I’m not going to let you not see your family today because of me. I guess I’m having lunch with you and your family.”

  He gave me a big, sexy grin.

  Damn. Why did he have to be so beautiful?

  “Bacon, eggs, and toast?” I asked.

  “Works for me.”

  With that, I made Zane breakfast to distract myself from the nerves I felt about what was ahead for me.

  Chapter 5

  Emme

  Zane and I were currently in my car on our way to his place. He insisted on driving and since I didn’t much care to drive at all he got no argument from me. Despite his best efforts to distract me, I was still very nervous about what was to come today. To Zane’s credit, he really did attempt to put me at ease all morning.

  As I made breakfast earlier in the morning, Zane talked with me about snowboarding and the upcoming events he would be competing in. Apparently, as soon as the new year rolled around he’d be training daily in preparation for the X Games at the end of January. Zane, Stone, and Luke were taking time between Christmas Day and New Year’s Day to recover from previous training sessions and contests and, of course, to spend time with family and friends. They’d hit it hard again after the holiday break.

  We finished breakfast, cleaned up the dishes, and then I hopped in the shower. Zane was a gentleman and stayed in the family room watching television while I got ready, which was a huge task. Part of me wanted to call Nikki because I knew she’d help me pick the perfect outfit, but I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea about what was happening. Like Zane said, we were just friends and he didn’t want his friend to be alone on Christmas. My participation in today’s festivities was strictly due to having my hand forced. I refused to add to my guilt. So, I picked out my own outfit. I settled on a pair of black skinny leg jeans, a three-quarter length dolman sleeved, boat neckline emerald green top that was fitted around the waist and hips, but loose across the chest, and a pair of black, knee high stiletto boots. I decided to put some loose curls in my hair and kept it down.

  After putting my makeup on and giving myself a once-over I walked out into the family room to find Zane sprawled out on the couch. I would have liked to crawl on the couch with him and stay there all day. I was in the middle of ogling him when I heard, “Emme?”

  I snapped out of my daydreaming and saw Zane looking at me with a grin on his face. Yep. He totally caught me checking him out. This was not good for my position on the whole no relationship thing.

  “Sorry,” I murmured, looking away from him.

  Zane walked over to me, put his finger to my jaw, and turned my head to face him. “No need for an apology, Emme. And, definitely no need for you to be embarrassed. It’s ok to like what you see,” he began. “Can’t say it doesn’t go both ways. You look beautiful, sweetheart.”

  I felt my cheeks flush. “Thank you, Zane.”

  “Ready?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Yes, I just want to put together a tray of cookies to take to your parents’ house and I’d like to call my parents quickly before we leave if that’s alright with you.”

  “Sure.”

  Not much later, we were pulling into a long driveway leading to Zane’s home. From the car, I was already floored by the magnificence of it. Zane had a very large piece of land with no houses immediately surrounding his place. The landscaping was breathtaking and lots of trees covered the view of the home from the driveway. As I looked out the window to one side I saw the beautiful snow-covered mountains and knew that if Zane’s home boasted any windows that would be a view not to be missed. Zane drove through the trees covering the side of the home and his stunning house came into view. Zane parked just outside of the garage. The house on the exterior was timber construction with stone details covering a large majority of the outside of the home. I stared in awe as Zane hopped out of the car and came around to meet me at my door. I stepped out and we walked along the walkway to the double wide front doors. Zane unlocked the door, allowed me to step inside ahead of him, and then disabled the alarm.

  I took in the long wide hallway as I stood in the foyer. It had a staircase leading to the second floor off to the left and dark brown hardwood floors throughout. To the right was a room that would probably have been made into a formal living room, but it was mostly empty at this point. Zane took me by the hand and walked me down the hall through the foyer to the enormous kitchen.

  “Ok, now I’m jealous. As we drove up here I was in awe at the beautiful landscaping and privacy of the property, but this could make a girl forget all of her problems.”

  “The kitchen?” he asked.

  “Do you cook?” I retorted.

  “Not so much. A few things here and there, essentially enough to not starve, but not really.”

  “This is a waste then. This kitchen is like my dream come true. Dark hardwood floors, pristine white cabinets, stainless hardware and appliances, and an island with gorgeous quartz countertops that’s larger than the size of my entire kitchen. I love cooking and baking. You have all this and you don’t really cook? I am so freaking jealous right now.”

  Zane started to laugh and I realized it was the first time I had heard him really laugh. His voice could soothe my soul, but his laugh — damn, that could make me fall to my knees. I stopped taking in the space to watch him. He stopped laughing, looked at me, and offered, “Anytime you want to use the kitchen, Emme, it’s all yours. Somebody should get some use out of it. My only requirement is that you share whatever you make.

  “You wouldn’t tease a girl, would you?” I asked.

  His eyes locked on mine and heated. His voice seemed to drop an octave, if that was even possible, when he promised, “Absolutely.”

  Damn. I totally did not need the conversation going there,
but with that single word I had no choice but to allow my thoughts to wander into forbidden territory. My eyes went to the island as I considered myself being teased by Zane in this very kitchen on this very island. I felt a shiver run through my body.

  “Fuck,” he growled.

  He pulled me out of my daydream and I took two steps back. I kept my eyes on him and he drew his brows together.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Nothing but the fact that I saw the reaction you had to what I said. I’m pretty certain you just considered the very real possibility of you and me together right here,” he said as he pointed to the island. “From what I can tell, sweetheart? You very much liked the whole idea.”

  Was this guy a mind reader?

  Now embarrassed, I looked away from him and out the windows of the kitchen to the mountains. Zane stepped in front of me, used his finger to turn my head toward his, and said, “Told you I know where you stand with not wanting a relationship, Emme. Also told you I would do my best to change your mind on that. Now, having just witnessed you inside your own head living out a fantasy, I’m definitely going to do everything I can to change your mind.”

  Shit.

  “Don’t you have to shower? Won’t we be late?” I asked, trying to distract Zane (and myself) from the very heated topic at hand.

  He gave me a sexy grin and a wink when he said, “It’d definitely be worth being late for, sweetheart.”

  I felt myself getting more and more turned on by this man. I was going to be in serious trouble if I didn’t start distancing myself from him.

  “Make yourself comfortable,” he began. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes…that is, unless you want to join me?”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “Go take your shower, Zane.”

  He smiled at me and turned to walk back to the stairs. I was such a bundle of nerves I couldn’t even begin to explore the rest of the house. I needed advice and decided to take a chance on asking for it. I pulled out my phone and called Monroe. The phone rang twice before she picked up.

  “Merry Christmas!” she said.

  I smiled inwardly and said, “Merry Christmas, mama.”

  “What’s going on there?” she asked.

  “I need help, Monroe. Please, though, you can’t say anything.”

  “What? What’s wrong?”

  “Promise me first, Monroe, that you won’t say anything to anyone. Not even Nikki or Charley.”

  “Promise, babe. You are freaking me out. What is wrong?” she asked.

  “I’m at Zane’s house right now and I am daydreaming about having sex with him in his kitchen which, I might add, is absolutely beautiful.”

  “WHAT?!” she screeched.

  “Stop yelling and focus, Monroe. He’s in the shower right now, but I don’t expect I have a lot of time to talk. Last night, Charley and I went out with Wes and Zane to Lou’s for his Christmas Eve celebration. When the guys brought us back to the condo I asked them if they wanted to come in and stay a while. I don’t know what came over me. I just didn’t want to be alone on Christmas Eve. Charley got my drift and scurried off with Wes. I asked Zane to stay the night with me.”

  “Did you sleep with him?” she asked, shock filtering through her voice.

  “No. Well, I mean, I slept with him in my bed, but we only slept. Actually, we kissed too, but we didn’t have sex.”

  “Is he a good kisser?”

  The excitement in her voice was unmistakable.

  “Ugh, yes, Monroe he is. In fact, I think he’s very, very good with his mouth, but you need to stay focused.”

  “Right, sorry. Please continue.”

  “I had a nightmare last night. I’ve been having them again ever since the night you and Nikki left. Same nightmare every night, it just gets worse each night. Not going to get into the details of the nightmare now, but you can imagine I’m sure. Anyway, just before it got really, really bad, Zane woke me. He was a bit freaked, I think, but he handled it well. We talked a little this morning and he found out that while Charley and Wes were going to be off celebrating Christmas with his family this morning that I’d be staying home by myself. He refused to let me stay alone saying that it was Christmas and nobody should spend the holidays lonely.”

  “I knew I liked him. He’s one of the good ones, Em. I can feel it in bones. So how did you end up at his place ready to have sex?”

  “He forced me here.”

  “What? That doesn’t sound like him. Are you ok?”

  “Not like that, Monroe. He told me that he wanted me to go with him to celebrate Christmas with his family today and when I declined he said that he would call his family and tell them he couldn’t make it because he refused to let me stay by myself all day.”

  I paused waiting for her reaction, but got nothing.

  “Are you there?” I asked.

  “Oh, I’m here. I’m just busy smiling from ear to ear jumping up and down that this guy has come into your life.”

  “I can’t do this. You know I can’t. The problem is I keep getting distracted by his handsome face and his sexy voice. Fuck, Monroe, his voice. I could listen to that man talk all day long.”

  “This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had,” she responded, giddily.

  “You are not helping me.”

  “Babe, what do you want me to say? You need this. You need whatever it is that Zane is willing to and can offer you. If you don’t want serious, tell him. But, in the meantime, if he can help you start living and feeling again, I think it’s worth the risk.”

  “He said he knows where I stand with a relationship, but he plans to try to change my mind. This won’t end well, mama.”

  “I think just the opposite is the case. This is going to end very well if you open your mind and your heart to it. Give yourself that chance, Em. You deserve it.”

  “Well I’m no better off now than I was before I called you. I’ve got to go now. Merry Christmas.”

  “Oh, it definitely is now. Love you, Em.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I disconnected the call and tossed my phone back in my purse. I stood, looking out at the mountains from the kitchen window as I leaned over the island with my elbows resting on the countertop and my chin in my palms. I contemplated my current predicament and what Monroe said. I knew where she was coming from and logically it all made sense, but when choices you made resulted in the death of someone you love and care about, it makes you consider every possible outcome of the situations you face from that point forward. In this particular case, I could daydream about all of the good things that could happen if I pursued a relationship with Zane, but the reality is that in doing so I could face heartache that I might not be able to recover from again. Someone else could get hurt and I wasn’t sure I could take that chance.

  “Jesus Christ.”

  I quickly stood and turned around.

  “Are you ok?” I asked Zane, who stood about ten feet away from me with his hands balled in fists at his sides as his jaw clenched. If the island wasn’t behind me I’d have taken several steps back.

  “You’re going to be the death of me, woman.”

  I swallowed hard at the harsh reality of that statement. He had no idea how dangerous being around me could be. Still feeling nervous I asked, “What?”

  “Sweetheart, you aren’t making it very easy for me to try to respect the fact that you only want to be friends.”

  “Zane, I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”

  “Maybe it makes me a dick to say this, but I’m sure you’ve already got to know you have a great ass. Seriously, it’s fucking phenomenal. Actually, your ass and tits are equally as glorious. Problem is, I walk into my kitchen with you bent over the island and your gorgeous ass is taunting me. It’s taking everything I have to not act on it and, now, I’m the one fantasizing about the island.”

  Oh shit.

  I knew most people considered those parts to be my two greatest physical assets. It cam
e as no surprise, but hearing Zane say it made me hot and bothered. I was pretty certain my face was flushed and so in an effort to not let him see that I simply dropped my head to the floor.

  “Damn it,” Zane mumbled as he walked toward me. When he was standing in front of me he tilted my head so that I was forced to look at him. “Emme, I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.”

  “It’s ok, Zane. I’m used to it.”

  His brows drew together and he said, “Used to what?”

  I didn’t want to tell him the full truth of what that meant so I simply stated, “I know that those two physical features are more…prominent on my body compared to other women’s bodies.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he answered.

  I shrugged my shoulders and looked away.

  “Emme, look at me,” he demanded.

  My eyes immediately shot to his.

  “You have a beautiful body, sweetheart. You have nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of.”

  I was really uncomfortable with this conversation and needed to move on so I stared at him a beat before saying, “Thank you, Zane.”

  Thankfully, Zane quickly changed the topic of conversation and asked, “Ready to go meet my family?”

  “Do I have a choice?” I retorted.

  “Of course you do. I can call them and tell them I’m not coming and I’ll take you back to your place…or we can stay here.”

  Yeah, that was definitely not going to be good. Perhaps being around other people would help distract me from all the sexual tension with Zane.

  “Ok, yes, let’s go so you can introduce me to your family,” I said as I turned to pick up my purse and head toward the door.

  I heard Zane laughing behind me.

  Twenty minutes later, we were pulling into the driveway of Zane’s parents’ house. It was a one-story ranch home. As we walked up to the front door, I felt nerves in my belly. This was crazy. I had just met Zane a few weeks ago and now I was about to have lunch with his family on Christmas Day. The front door opened as we approached and I stopped dead in my tracks. I took in the man in front of me and then looked to Zane. When I looked back at the man in the door he was now chuckling.