Everything I Want (The Everything Series Book 3) Page 4

  She nodded.

  With that, I followed her out of the room and down the hall to the reception area. She gathered her things, turned off the lights, armed the studio, and locked up. I walked her to her car where she thanked me again for helping her before climbing in. After closing her door, I walked back to my truck, started it, and waited to go until she drove off.

  I pulled away from the curb after she did and drove home. The entire way there I couldn’t stop replaying that kiss in my mind. I couldn’t figure out how the hell I was going to get through another day of being around her without wrapping her up in my arms and taking her right there in the middle of her studio.

  Monroe Archer steamrolled through my walls with very little effort and right into my brain. I needed to find a way to get her out of there, for her sake and for my own. So, I went home and did the only thing I could that I knew that would set me straight. I hadn’t looked at it in years, but now I knew I needed to see it. I pulled out the letter and I read it. Then, I read it again. And again. And again.

  Chapter 3

  Monroe

  My lips were on fire. It had easily been ten hours or more since it happened, but my lips were still on fire. Oh hell, who was I kidding? My whole body was on fire. I was burning up and it was all because of Stone and those damn fine lips of his. And his hands. Those hands that cupped my face, swiped my lip, and pulled me next to him. I loved those hands.

  Last night, when he put his hand out to stop me from walking out of the room and then swiped his thumb across my lips I swore my heart was beating so hard I was certain he could hear it. His beautiful blue eyes watched his thumb on my lips before he searched my face and then stared into my eyes. The moment he told me he wanted to kiss me I felt a tingling in my belly. Then, he pulled me close to him and I felt every solid inch of his incredible body. The feeling of excitement and anticipation was too much to control and he felt my body shuddering. When I told him I was nervous, he was so incredibly gentle. His lips came to mine and it was like I had died and gone to heaven. I had kissed guys before (not many, actually, only two), but nothing compared to kissing Stone. He had a perfect set of juicy lips and he knew how to use them. Then he slipped his velvety tongue into my mouth. I couldn’t help the sounds coming from the back of my throat at what I felt in finally having that. Stone’s mouth was finally on mine and it was everything I thought it would be and then some.

  When I got home last night, I had a difficult time settling myself long enough to fall asleep. I eventually managed it and got in a couple hours, but was up before my alarm this morning. I was feeling so excited at that thought of seeing him again. In fact, I was feeling so good I was planning to get to the studio this morning before Stone so that I could dance for a bit. I hadn’t done it in a couple weeks with the move, but now I was craving it. So, I got myself dressed this morning in a pair of skinny sweats and a camisole with a loose fitting off-the-shoulder top over it. I grabbed my things, walked out into the kitchen, and found Nikki strolling down the hall toward the kitchen as well. She looked like she had just rolled out of bed with all of her jet-black hair piled on top of her head, her oversized sweats and V-neck tee.

  “Morning, babe,” she greeted as she sat down at the island.

  “Good morning, Nik,” I began, smiling big and pulling my bottom lip in between my teeth.

  Nikki squinted her eyes ever so slightly attempting to discern my mood and finally demanded, “Okay, give it to me.”

  I shrugged my shoulders as I walked over to the teapot to turn it on and feigned innocence. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

  “What the hell happened? You went to the studio yesterday, right?”

  I gave her slow, big nods of my head.

  “And?” she asked.

  “Well, I was about five minutes away from the studio yesterday morning when I got a flat tire on that stupid truck. I called Vaughn to ask him how to change it. He gave me a lecture again about the fact that I moved out here. I made him feel guilty about me standing on the side of the road in the freezing cold to get him to stop lecturing me and start telling me how to change the damn tire. I managed to get the spare tire out and was about to jack up the car when a truck pulled up behind me. Of course, I’m thrilled because someone is coming to help and Vaughn is freaking out in my ear telling me to get into the car and lock the doors. That’s when I saw him get out of his truck, Nikki.”

  Her eyes rounded and she confirmed, “Stone?”

  “Fuck. He’s so beautiful,” I sighed.

  She laughed at my response. “I’m guessing he changed your tire?”

  “Yes. Vaughn freaked. I calmed him down and told him I would call him back. Then, I watched Stone changed the tire. He took my flat and threw it into the back of his truck before he walked back and told me that Luke’s brother has an automotive shop, which is apparently a couple blocks down the road from where our place is. I’ll admit that up to this point I’m completing freaking out because it’s the first I’ve seen him since Emme’s party. He didn’t say a whole lot, but said that he’d take the tire to get repaired and would bring it back to me afterward. Needless to say, I drove to the studio and waited for the delivery guy. I was in one of the back rooms when I heard the door chime. I assumed it was the delivery guy. Turns out, I was wrong.”

  “It was him.”

  “Yep. And he ended up apologizing to me for walking out of Lou’s that night. Then, when he found out I was going to be working on the place by myself all day he ended up spending the entire day with me. We painted two of the rooms, he installed both of my new toilets, moved and plugged in my new refrigerator, and hung mirrors with me. He also took me out for lunch and I ordered a pizza for dinner. Just before we left he told me that he’d meet me there this morning and put in a full day with me today.”

  “Wow, Monroe. That’s awesome. More than anything I’m just happy he apologized to you about Lou’s. That was uncalled for. Did he give you a good reason for it?”

  “It hurt, for sure. He said he left because what he really wanted to do was, and I quote, walk up on stage, throw me over his shoulder, and then take me back to his place so he could fuck me senseless.”

  I paused for a minute to let that sink in. Nikki’s jaw dropped and her eyes popped out of her head.

  “So why didn’t he do exactly that?” she challenged.

  “The problem is that he knows that I want a serious relationship. He knows I’m looking for love and he can’t give me that. He said he respected me enough to not cross that line. Of course, this was after he said that ever since the day he met me he’s thought about sinking himself between my legs.”

  “Oh…my…fuck.”

  “I know, Nikki. Of course, I was all hot and bothered by that and then he told me how there was essentially no chance for us.”

  “Alright, so why are you happy now?”

  “You didn’t let me finish before. I didn’t get to the best part of my day yesterday.”

  “There’s more?” she asked, surprised laced through her tone.

  “Just as we were about to leave I started walking out of the room that we had completely finished and he stopped me. He put his hand to my abdomen and said that even though he knew he shouldn’t he really wanted to kiss me. I let him. Oh my God, Nikki — I know I don’t have lots of experience, but he’s a really great kisser.”

  Nikki’s eyes got wet as she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me pulling me into a hug. “Seeing you like this makes me happy. I’m overjoyed for you, babe, but be careful. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

  “I want more, Nik. So much more. I’ve made up my mind. Stone is everything I want. I don’t know why because I don’t know him that well, but I feel this undeniable attraction to him every second I’m around him. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced; that has to mean something.”

  It was rare that Nikki was ever left speechless, but I’m not sure she knew what she could say in this moment. She gav
e me a look that told me she hoped I got what I wanted, but at the same time she was worried. Eventually, she spoke. “Did he tell you why he can’t give you what it seems like you both want?”

  I shook my head. “No, and I didn’t think I had a right to ask. I mean, if he wanted to share that I’m guessing he would have.”

  She nodded.

  “My stomach is a bunch of nerves; I’m so excited to see him again today.”

  “Protect your heart, Monroe. Whatever you do, don’t let him hurt you.”

  “I’ll be careful, but…” I trailed off.

  “But what?”

  “Nikki, I want him so bad I’m not sure I’d say no if he told me he could only offer a physical relationship. That said, I’m also scared shitless of that. If it were to get to that point should I tell him?”

  “Okay. Don’t make any decisions on that today. I’m calling Charley and Emme and inviting them over tonight. They’re going to want to hear all about this and we’ll talk you through it all.”

  “Thank you, babe. I’m going to head out now so I can get some dancing in. You heading to the salon today?”

  She shook her head. “I’m going to wait and go in tomorrow.”

  “Alright. I’ll see you tonight then.”

  “Love you, Monroe,” she called as I walked out of the kitchen.

  “Love you, too,” I yelled back before walking out the door.

  I walked out to the Yukon, hopped in, blasted the music, and danced in my seat as I drove myself to the studio. I felt like I couldn’t get myself there fast enough; I was so amped to get moving. Thankfully, I made it to the studio without incident. I had a good hour before Stone would be showing up, but I decided to leave the door unlocked. Once I got into dancing I knew I’d be too involved in what I was doing and wouldn’t take note of the time. Then, Stone would be standing outside for who knows how long. I walked into my completed room, connected my phone to the stereo, found the song I was looking for, and got down to dancing.

  I picked an upbeat song knowing I had to burn through the excitement coursing through my body, hopeful I’d tame some of it before Stone arrived. It didn’t take long for me to choreograph a routine to the song. I was feeling so much and it was very easy for me to express those emotions through my dancing. As Ariana Grande’s Into You blasted through the speakers for what was easily the fifteenth time, though it felt like the first time to me, I performed the routine once again. I was feeling incredible. I moved across the floor, hands on my body, hips shaking, booty popping, and was even down on the ground for some floor work. Just before the song ended, I spun on my feet and turned. That was when I stopped myself in my tracks. Stone was standing outside of the room watching me. I shrugged my shoulders and gave him a cheesy smile before I brought my hand up to wave at him.

  I turned and walked over to the stereo and turned the volume down. When I turned around Stone was still standing outside the room. I began walking toward him. “Good morning,” I beamed, a huge smile plastered on my face.

  The look on his face did not mirror my own. He was contemplative and looking a bit torn. Shit. Were we back here? I really thought we had a bit of a breakthrough last night.

  Suddenly, he spoke. “Morning. You ready to get to work?”

  My brows drew together. I guess what he said yesterday really was true. I didn’t know how long he was standing outside the room watching me, but regardless of how long it had been it was clear to me that watching me dance was torturous for him. I tried my best to swallow the hurt and nodded.

  We spent the next few hours working on painting the third and fourth rooms. It was very quiet. Oddly enough, there were moments of quiet yesterday when we were painting, but there was no tension. This quiet was completely different. We had just finished the second coat of paint in the fourth room and I decided to say something. I don’t know what came over me, but for whatever reason my mouth seemed to have a mind of its own and got off on continuing to embarrass me.

  “Okay, I can’t do this anymore,” I explained before walking out of the room.

  Stone turned to look at me and asked, “Do what?”

  “What’s going on?” I retorted. “Did something happen?”

  His eyes held mine, but he said nothing.

  “Stone, please,” I pleaded. “You’ve barely said two words to me today. I don’t understand what’s going on. Is it because I was dancing this morning?”

  He took in a deep breath and blew it out. “No, Monroe. You didn’t do anything wrong, but what happened last night can’t happen again. I’m very sorry; I never should have kissed you.”

  I jerked my head back at his admission. Was I that bad? “Oh. Was it not good for you?” I asked, instantly regretting it.

  Shit. Why couldn’t I shut up?

  His face softened and his voice was gentle when he answered, “It’s nothing like that. I enjoyed it immensely. I just…I shouldn’t have done it because I can’t offer you anything else. You deserve more than I can give you.”

  “I feel this, Stone. I feel it so deep down in my soul and I haven’t got a clue why. And based on what you said yesterday, I thought you felt something, too. Why? Why won’t you give it a chance?” I demanded to know, also knowing I had no right to the answer.

  “I’m not going to talk about my reasons why. I just can’t.”

  I was suddenly very angry. “So then why are you here? What’s this all about? Are you still trying to make up for the fact that I made a fool of myself and you completely humiliated me at Emme’s party?”

  “No. I don’t know why I’m here; I just know I like being around you. I guess I’m being selfish.”

  “God, I’m such a fucking idiot,” I huffed as I turned and looked away.

  “Monroe, don’t say that. You,” he got out before I cut him off.

  “I think you should go.”

  He didn’t move. I wasn’t looking at him, but I could still feel him there.

  “Please, Stone. Just go,” I begged, my voice cracking.

  That’s when he walked out. A few seconds later I heard the door chime. I wanted to crumble to the floor and cry. I wanted to call the girls and cry with them about it. I wanted to call my brothers so they could make it better. Instead, I refused to cry. No. I was going to dance. I walked from the fourth room back to the first room and made my way over to my phone. I found the song I was looking for, set it to repeat, and cranked up the volume. I was going to need several hours to dance this out. Mercy by Shawn Mendes was playing through the speakers. It took me listening to the song three times before I fully choreographed a routine to it. Normally, choreographing required a bit more time, but my emotions were running high and it came so naturally to me. I did the routine repeatedly. I danced the same dance, listening to the same song, for hours.

  I had the music so loud I never heard the door chime again, so when I ran through the dance three more times I didn’t know I was being watched the entire time. When I crumbled to the floor in tears after exhausting myself because I felt the song too deeply I didn’t know that Stone had witnessed it. And, because the music was still blaring, I never heard him leave again.

  Stone

  I was a jackass. I was sitting out in my truck, which I moved from where I had originally parked to a place where I could still see Monroe when she left, but she wouldn’t know I was watching. I wasn’t being a creep; I was worried about her. She wanted me to leave, so I left. Then, I wanted to go back in and check on her. She never heard me walk in because her music was blaring some song I hadn’t ever heard before. I watched her dance to it three times and, now, I couldn’t get the words to that damn song out of my head.

  Monroe was classically beautiful. Whether she was dolled up and out with her girls or whether she was in a pair of sweats painting the walls in her new studio, she was a knockout and it was effortless. When she danced, though, she was exquisite. However, what I saw today killed me. As she danced I saw the pain in her eyes and I felt it in her movements
. After I watched her dance to that song a third time, I witnessed the pain she was in as she fell to the floor and cried. I wanted, more than anything, to go in there and scoop her up in my arms and make it better. I wanted to dry her tears and beg for forgiveness for hurting her, yet again. Instead, seeing her there made me realize that she was already hurting badly and all we did was share a kiss. I remembered the letter and knew I needed to get out of there. I walked out and got in my truck. I stayed and waited. I wanted to make sure she got to her car safely and that she was okay after what I had witnessed in there.

  I felt a deep connection with Monroe. There was no use denying it. When I first met her, it was purely physical. She was sex on legs…beautiful fucking legs. Every time I was around her after that first time, I grew more and more attracted to her. I’d watched her as she laughed with her girlfriends. I talked with her through the hurt and guilt she was feeling over Emme’s rape. I held her that night at Wes’ house when Emme was kidnapped. I listened to her and the more she told me the more I wanted to hear.

  Then, this morning I walked into her studio and heard her music at a deafening tone. I found her in the dance room we completed and hung the mirrors in yesterday and she was fired up. She was not fired up in a bad way, either. I had no clue who the recording artist was, but I’d heard the song before on the radio and out at Lou’s. I listened to the words as I watched her dance. It was incredible to watch the emotion she put into her dancing. As much as I felt the pull to go to her, I stayed put. There was nothing quite like Monroe when she was dancing. She was just about at the end of the song when she noticed me standing outside the room watching her. Then, in that moment, I swore it was like I had fallen in love. The biggest, most beautiful smile spread across her face as she shrugged her shoulders and waved at me. My dick was already hard from watching her dance, but then seeing that look on her face took it to the next level. It was then that I was grateful for her music being so loud because I groaned.