Overcome (Cunningham Security Series Book 2) Read online

  “I care about you, but it’s not that.”

  My brows pulled together in confusion. “What is it?”

  Bringing his hand up to the side of my face, he ran the backs of two of his fingers along my cheekbone. It was tender and sweet. “I remember your panic attack and the pure terror I felt seeing you like that. I don’t want to cause you that kind of pain again. It hurt to see you that way. The reason I’m so worried isn’t because I care about you. It’s because I love you, Lexi.”

  My lips parted and my breath caught in my throat at his admission.

  I love you, Lexi.

  I heard his words over and over in my head at least a dozen times in a matter of seconds.

  “Say it again,” I begged him.

  “I love you,” he repeated.

  “Then show me,” I pleaded with him.

  Cruz’s mouth came down and caught mine. As our lips collided and our tongues tasted, my hands moved from his face to his hair and his neck. He shifted his body and settled in the space between my parted thighs.

  He was positioned at my entrance with my legs wrapped around his waist. I felt Cruz’s hands on either side of my head. He didn’t move.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I want that part of me back. Please…make love to me,” I whispered.

  “You need to talk to me, Lexi,” he instructed. “Don’t continue if it’s not right for you, ok?”

  I nodded and tipped my hips slightly. Cruz pushed forward, filling me. Once inside, he didn’t pull back. He kept his eyes on me, his fingertips pressing in a bit harder.

  “You good?” he asked, his voice thick with emotion.

  “Yes,” I answered, my breath ragged.

  Keeping his eyes focused on mine, he pulled back slowly and pushed forward again. Despite being overcome with sensations as Cruz moved himself in and out of me, I never dropped my gaze from him.

  It was incredible.

  Beautiful.

  It was everything it should have been.

  Tender.

  Sweet.

  Passionate.

  Lovely.

  We moved slowly together for a long time, but that soon gave way to an increased pace. My arms and legs were wrapped tight around him. I loved the feel of our bodies against one another. We fit perfectly together.

  “Cruz,” I whimpered as I felt the onset of my orgasm arrive.

  It was beginning to take over.

  “Take back what’s yours, warrior.”

  It tore through me, shattering many demons inside. The pleasure was ongoing and with each wave that rolled through, I felt it coming back. Me. I wasn’t in pain. I was no longer empty. I was full and whole again. And Cruz helped me get that back.

  Just as I came down from the onslaught of emotions and physical euphoria, Cruz thrust his hips three more times and buried himself deep inside me, groaning through his orgasm. I watched him and I loved every single second of it. He collapsed on top of me, burying his face in my neck being careful not to give me all of his weight.

  We were covered in a sheen of sweat, our breathing labored. In spite of that, Cruz still saw to it that I was alright.

  He turned his head to the side and kissed my cheek. “How do you feel?” he asked softly.

  My emotions got the best of me and I croaked, “Beautiful.”

  “Lexi…” he trailed off.

  We didn’t say anything for a bit until Cruz said, “Unhook your legs, princess. I’ve got to get this condom off.”

  I did as he asked and watched as he left the bed and moved to the bathroom. Once he had disappeared behind the door, I pulled back the blankets and climbed underneath them. When Cruz returned and climbed in the bed next to me, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close.

  “Thank you.”

  My voice was just barely a whisper.

  “You can’t possibly think you need to thank me for that, Lex. What you just gave me…I should be the one thanking you.”

  I pressed a soft kiss to his lips and shared, “I think I got a big piece of myself back just now. It feels really good.”

  “I’m honored that I got to play a part in that. It means a lot to me that you trusted me with your body. Are you sure you’re feeling ok?”

  I smiled at him and insisted, “Yes, Cruz. This is one thing I wouldn’t joke about. I feel like a million bricks have been lifted off my shoulders. I don’t have to be fearful of intimacy anymore. At least, not with you. And considering I love you, I’m guessing that’s a really good thing.”

  I felt his body grow solid next to mine before he asked, “You love me?”

  I nodded and responded, “I don’t think I could have done this if I didn’t.”

  “My warrior princess,” he declared, snuggling further into me.

  “Thank you for being there for me every step of the way through this, Captain.”

  “Captain?”

  I let out a little laugh before I clarified, “In my professional life, I’m always the one in charge of making sure things run smoothly. My clients are the talent and have the final say, but I’m the one guiding their ships. When it comes to my personal life, I’ve been steering my own vessel, especially through my recovery. But now I have someone I trust to maneuver through the water with me. It’s nice to know I don’t always have to hold that title and that I can depend on someone to hold my hand through the rough waters.”

  “I love you, Lexi.”

  His voice was deep and husky, emotion having clearly taken over.

  “I love you, too.”

  Cruz and I stayed cuddled up in his bed for a while just holding onto each other. Holding led to touching. Touching led to kissing. And kissing led to another round of love-making. This round, though, was not nearly as slow as the first, but it was equally as satisfying.

  After Cruz and I made and ate dinner at his place, he took me home. Only this time, he didn’t drop me off. Before we left his place, I asked him to spend the night with me at mine. That night, when I fell asleep I experienced the best night I’d had in my life and it had nothing to do with sex. It had everything to do with the man who was curled up behind me, tucking me close to his body and making me feel safer that I had in years. And he held me while, for the first time in just as many years, I fell asleep without having to wear pants.

  Two and a half weeks had passed since I’d overcome what I had expected would be one of the biggest hurdles in my recovery.

  Sex.

  No, that wasn’t right.

  Making love.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised that it not only went well, but was also more than I could have ever hoped for. I mean, I’d had sex before the rape. Only with one person. It wasn’t horrible; or at least, I didn’t think it was horrible. We were young and neither of us had any prior experience. I think we were both more curious than anything else. It certainly wasn’t true love that brought us to that point. More than anything, we were in a high school relationship and it seemed like that was what you were supposed to do. After that relationship ended, I put my focus into my schoolwork.

  So, before I was with Cruz, I’d had two different experiences with sex. One was simply that, just sex. Not bad, but not over-the-top good, either. The other experience…well, that wasn’t anything worth reliving. It was just all bad.

  But with Cruz it was everything good. Better than good, actually. I knew we had only been together a short time and that sometimes messed with my head. I often wondered if I was clinging to Cruz because he was the first man I felt safe with following the rape. The moment we were at his house and in his bed, I knew that wasn’t the case. The words we spoke to each other before, during, and after squashed any thoughts I had that it was anything but love between us. I was certain that this was the reason the experience had been filled with beautiful moments.

  And over the last two and a half weeks, things between us had gotten even better. We spent several nights together, most of them at my place. I had to admit, thou
gh, that I enjoyed the nights at Cruz’s home. It was bigger than my place and much cozier, but it didn’t have all the things I needed there when I had to get ready for work.

  Each day, I found myself looking forward to whatever the day would bring in my interactions with Cruz. Sometimes, it was the late-night phone calls when I was cuddled in my bed and he was working. Other times, it was heading home and making dinner for two, knowing that I’d be spending time with him. Tonight would be one of those nights and I found myself eager to spend the whole night with him.

  Love-making had been an extraordinary experience over the last few weeks. It was always filled with such passion and desire, but what I found I loved the most was the excitement of trying new things with him…things I’d never had with anyone else. He was so good to me and made sure I enjoyed it every single time. I always did, but sometimes I felt like he was holding himself back for my sake. I didn’t want to turn him off, but I knew I needed to talk to him soon about it. Until I worked up the courage to do that, I’d continue to enjoy what we had between us. And I planned to do that fully later tonight, but I still had to finish the remaining half of my day at work first.

  The biggest thing on my work agenda for the day was a meeting with Elle. It was big only in the sense that it was the first time she and I were getting together since before Cruz and I had slept together. I knew that only a small portion of our meeting would be spent with the two of us discussing her upcoming tour and that most of our time would involve a discussion about my relationship with Cruz.

  The only person other than Cruz who knew that we’d taken that step was Nikki. I think she knew things had changed for me the day we went to my parents’ house. The next day she gave me a call on her lunch break to get the scoop.

  “So, how was it?” she asked after I told her that Cruz and I had finally taken that step.

  “Beautiful,” I sighed. “Gosh, Nikki, he was so incredibly attentive and gentle. He was so concerned about my well-being. I never imagined it would be so wonderful.”

  “I’m so happy for you, sis,” she started. “I knew Cruz would give you everything you deserved. And I’m thrilled that you now know just how breathtakingly perfect it is supposed to be when you willingly share your body with someone who deserves you and loves you back.”

  “Loves me back?” I questioned her. “How do you know?”

  Of course Cruz and I had admitted our feelings to each other that night, but I didn’t understand how she knew about it.

  She laughed before she answered, “It was written all over your faces. And if I hadn’t thought you were in love the moment he stood up to your dad when you told your parents about the rape, I would have known the instant he told them how much you meant to him just before we left.”

  It felt good to hear her say that. Not that I had any doubts about my feelings for Cruz or his for me, but knowing that it was apparent to outsiders how we felt about each other was nice.

  I’d barely gotten through my recollection of my conversation with Nikki when there was a knock on my office door just before it opened. It was lunchtime and Elle came in early carrying food.

  “Hey, El. You’re early,” I pointed out.

  “I know, love, but we haven’t really had much time to connect lately. I took a chance that you’d be free and figured we could catch up over lunch. We can deal with work stuff afterward.”

  “Works for me,” I agreed. “What’s for lunch?”

  Elle beamed at me and brought the food over. Once we had gotten the food sorted, she hit me with some unexpected news.

  “Levi proposed,” she blurted.

  My eyes nearly popped out of my head. “What?!” I exclaimed. “When did this happen?”

  “This past weekend,” she shared.

  “I assume you accepted.”

  She held her left hand out to me. A beautiful ring sat on her finger, shining. “Oh, Elle. It’s absolutely gorgeous.”

  I got up and moved toward her. Pulling her into a hug, I wished, “Congratulations. I’m so happy for you.”

  “Thanks, Lexi. I’m not sure I could be any happier than I am right now. I love him so much.”

  “You deserve it. After everything you went through,” I trailed off.

  She grew somber for a moment before she turned it around on me. “Yeah, but you know what? You’re right. I do deserve it. It’s the women like us that have gone through total crap that ought to have some good flow into our lives. We both come from incredible families, but somehow we’ve managed to find ourselves in situations with people who did us so wrong. Our happiness can now be a slap in the face to those who tried to bring us down.”

  Her words meant everything.

  “I like the way you think, girl,” I approved of her sentiments as I sat back down. “In fact, I’ve got my own news.”

  Elle leaned forward, curiously. “Oh?”

  Nodding and trying to contain my excitement, I shared, “My relationship with Cruz has gotten a bit more serious.”

  “How serious?”

  I bit my lip, thinking about the seriousness I was referring to and answered, “Very serious.”

  Elle couldn’t contain her shock. “Oh, Lexi. That’s incredible news! I imagine Cruz made sure you were handled with care.”

  “He was perfect, El. Absolutely perfect.”

  The two of us sat there in silence for a bit, soaking up the bliss of each of our current situations. I hadn’t expected I’d ever feel normal enough again to even have friends, let alone be in a loving, committed relationship that I could actually talk to my girlfriends about. There was no denying how good that felt.

  Elle and I finished eating lunch. After, we got to work on her summer mini-tour schedule. We spent the remainder of my day at work mapping out the dates for the tour so that she’d be able to not only drive from one location to the next, but also have time to spend at each one of those destinations.

  When Elle left, I was ready to pack up and head home. I couldn’t wait to see Cruz and spend the night with him. We hadn’t been able to spend the night together the previous two nights, so I was really beginning to miss him.

  Just before I left, my cell phone rang. Pulling it out of my purse, I looked at the display and saw my mom was calling. Ever since I’d shared the truth of my rape with my parents, my mother had been calling me more frequently. I knew it was part of the guilt she felt over what happened, so I tried my best to always take her calls. And while she hadn’t brought up the rape at any point since she learned about it, I wanted to make sure she could see that I was doing well. I thought it might help ease the blame I assumed she placed on herself.

  “Hi, Mom,” I answered cheerfully.

  “Hi, Lexi. How was your day today?”

  “Great,” I started. “Really productive. I not only had a meeting with Elle this afternoon, but she came over a little earlier and we got to catch up over lunch.”

  Telling her that wasn’t necessarily something I would have done in the past, but I thought reassurances that I had friends around me would make her feel better.

  “That’s good to hear, sweetie,” she began. I heard the nervousness in her tone and knew she had more to say.

  “Is everything alright?” I asked.

  She sighed, “I’m just so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. I still feel so much guilt over not being there for you, but hearing about your days and knowing you’ve made something of yourself despite what happened helps me. I’ve been doing a lot of reading and I learned that so many women end up dropping out of school because their assault takes so much away from them. You’re such a strong, young woman.”

  As much as I appreciated the fact she wanted to learn as much as she could about what happened to me, it hurt my heart to know she was spending her days researching it. I didn’t want that for her, so I made a split-second decision.

  “It’s your fault, you know,” I informed her.

  “What?” she asked, shock and confusion taking
over.

  “Actually, you and dad are both to blame.”

  “Lexi, what on Earth are you saying?”

  I laughed and clarified, “You and Dad are the reason I managed to overcome this. The two of you made me the person I am today, Mom. I blamed myself for a long time for not fighting back and for not doing something differently. I don’t do that anymore. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel regret from time to time, but I’ve come to terms with it. And there’s not a doubt in my mind that my strength comes from my parents. You taught me everything I know.”

  My mother was quiet for so long I began wondering if we got disconnected.

  “Mom?” I called.

  “You really are alright,” she declared. “That’s the first time in years you’ve joked with me about anything. I should have known when it stopped that something was wrong, but I just never imagined something so horrific had happened to you. It feels good to hear you teasing me and being playful again. I’ve missed that terribly.”

  “Can I ask you for a favor?”

  “Absolutely, sweetie. Anything.”

  “I can appreciate your curiosity and the fact that you don’t want to come to me with questions about what happened. If I wasn’t ready to field the questions I’m certain you have, I wouldn’t have told you about the rape. I think I’d like for the two of us to get together soon so that we can talk and you can ask me anything about it. I’m free this weekend if that works for you.”

  “But when I was reading, I saw several lists of all the different questions I shouldn’t ask you,” she debated. “I don’t want to ask questions that bring up painful memories or set you back in any way.”