Overcome (Cunningham Security Series Book 2) Page 18

Monday arrived and with it came the official opening of the rape crisis center. WAAR opened as scheduled and everything had gone smoothly. Grant reached out to me late Monday afternoon and told me how well things had gone. While I was happy to know that there was a place for women to go for help, it saddened me at the same time to know that there was an overwhelming need for such an organization. I hadn’t expected I’d ever step foot inside once it officially opened, but now three days later, I felt compelled to go.

  It was partly out of curiosity and partly out of need. Something inside me was telling me to go, that I needed to be there.

  So, after putting in several hours at the office today, here I was.

  The second I walked through the doors, I found that I wanted to sit in on a group therapy session. That’s precisely what I did since there was one just about to start. While I didn’t share, there were several women I believed were much further along in their recovery who were sharing. Being further along didn’t necessarily mean that their sexual assault experiences happened before mine did; it simply meant that they were healing differently than me. The one thing that I did learn from listening was that healing was an on-going process. In addition to that, hearing their stories made me feel like I wasn’t alone and I found myself wishing I had taken Dr. Lane’s advice and sought the help of group therapy sessions long ago.

  Now, I was beginning to consider the possibility of sharing my own story. It had taken me such a long time to get to a place where I could tell people I knew and trusted about what had happened. I didn’t know if I’d be able to share so openly with strangers, but I admired the women who spoke today. Listening to them and seeing their strength made me realize that if I could bring myself to share my experience, I’d be able to show other women that there was a reason to hope and that their assault did not have to control them for the rest of their lives.

  I got up and was headed toward the front door, excited to get home and call Cruz. He was going to be working later this evening on his case, but I knew he’d take some time to chat with me. I wanted to get home as quickly as I could so that I could tell him about my eye-opening experience today.

  I never expected that I’d experience something that would have an even more profound effect on me than the meeting, but that’s precisely what happened as I walked through the front door.

  It was just before seven o’clock and I had opened the door to leave. As I stepped through the door, I was stopped in my tracks by what stood before me. Two young girls, one whose eyes were haunted. I took one look in them and I knew it wasn’t good; though, the state of her clothes, hair, and exposed skin would have told the story if her eyes hadn’t.

  “My friend told me to come here,” she mumbled.

  The other girl spoke up. “I’m her friend. I saw some advertisements about this place, so when she called me just a little bit ago I picked her up and brought her here.”

  I gave her a gentle nod and said, “Ok. We can help you. Come inside.”

  Once inside, I got one of the volunteers who had been in the group therapy session. I planned to stay around to make sure she was alright, but when she was asked to go to one of the private rooms so that she could be evaluated, she pleaded with me to go with her and her friend.

  “I…” I stammered, trailing off unsure of what to do. “I don’t work here.”

  Her eyes filled with tears and she begged me, “I don’t care. I don’t want to be alone. Please come in there with me.”

  Getting a gentle nod from the volunteer, I agreed, “Ok. I’ll come with you.”

  I knew how crucial it was to have support and while I rejected any help right after my rape, sometimes I now wished I hadn’t. If this girl wanted to be surrounded by people she felt she could trust, I’d find a way to be that person for her.

  Much to my dismay, but not a surprise at all, we learned that Riley had been brutally attacked by a man. Her friend, Paige, suggested she come to us because she’d heard about the center from part of the campaign work I’d done. Obviously, they didn’t know anything about me or that I was the one responsible for them hearing about WAAR. Regardless, I was thrown. I never expected to be hit full force with just how crucial the work I had done was. I didn’t have time to dwell on that, though, because not long after Riley was evaluated and checked out by one of the doctors on staff, she was surprisingly open about what happened and shared it with us.

  “I guess this is what I get for trying to have a good time before it’s over,” she joked. “I’m a senior at Windsor College and I’m about to graduate. I was invited with some friends to go to a concert off-campus. Paige couldn’t go because she was far behind on a project for one of her classes. I decided to ride with my friends to the venue. Since it was early, we stopped for dinner and drinks first. I haven’t let loose in a while and I don’t have a class until later tomorrow afternoon, so I figured I’d enjoy myself. I had a lot to drink. We got to the venue, but it was outdoors. I ended up separated from my friends. I tried texting them, but they weren’t responding. I figured I might have better luck calling, so I walked away from the crowd so I could hear.”

  Riley closed her eyes and sighed. “I was so stupid. My reception was terrible and I kept walking. By the time I realized how far away I’d gotten from the crowd, it was too late. He dragged me to the parking lot. I tried fighting him, but he was so much stronger.”

  The tears rolled down her cheeks and my heart broke for her.

  She continued, “I was wearing this dress, so it was easy for him. He bent me over the hood of a car and held me down. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t fight. When he finished, he left me there alone. I called Paige and waited for her to come get me.”

  “Oh, Riley. I’m so sorry this happened to you,” I said.

  “If I had been there,” Paige started. The guilt over what happened to her friend was clearly eating at her.

  “Neither one of you is to blame for what happened,” I insisted, cutting her off before she had the opportunity to condemn herself further.

  Both girls were in tears at this point. The counselor stepped in and we spent the next hour calming them down and reassuring them.

  When they both settled down, the counselor talked to Riley about reporting the rape. She vehemently refused.

  There was no pressure put on her and the staff got her and Paige set up with a place to stay for the evening. While they could go back to their dorm room, they ultimately decided it was best to stay where there’d be qualified staff on hand to help get her through the first night. After both girls were settled in one of the rooms, I pulled out my business card and handed one to each of them. I wanted Riley to know she had someone there for her if she needed to talk.

  At that, approaching ten thirty, I left and went home. On the drive home, my day from the time I walked through the doors at WAAR until I left replayed in my head. Mostly, my thoughts were consumed by Riley.

  Listening to her entire ordeal, not just what happened, but the manner in which she was handling it, was so familiar. Everything from the dead look in her eyes and the joking when she started telling the story, to the guilt, shame, and terror she expressed brought back so many memories. I didn’t know how I was going to get through the rest of the evening. Riley’s awful situation brought back so many horrible memories for me.

  I walked through my front door, set my alarm, and walked to my bedroom. After taking a shower, I got myself ready for bed. Just as I was about to climb in, my phone rang. I fished it out of my purse and answered.

  “Hey, Cruz. I was getting ready to call you.”

  “Are you alright? I hadn’t heard from you and sent a text a while ago, but you never responded. I was just about to leave and come to check on you.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. I just got home. I had such a horrible night,” I divulged.

  “What happened?” he worried.

  I told him about Riley. I didn’t give him her name or all the details of what specifically happened to her because I wasn�
��t sure I could relive it, but I needed to tell him how I was feeling about it. He listened to the story until he had to go. I was grateful I had the opportunity to talk with him about it, but even after I had I was still so unsettled.

  It might have been roughly thirty minutes after Cruz and I disconnected and I was still no closer to finding sleep. I had tossed and turned, telling myself that I should have exercised when I got home even though it was late. But I knew that wasn’t the reason I was having trouble sleeping. A minute later, I heard a knock at my door. I crawled out of bed, walked to the front door, and looked out the peephole.

  Seeing who was on the other side, I couldn’t open the door fast enough.

  “Cruz,” I called when I opened the door. “What are you doing here? I thought you were working.”

  He stepped inside and explained, “I got done what I needed to get done and have one of the other guys covering for me. I heard how upset you were on the phone and thought you might need someone here for you. I wanted to be that person.”

  I was going to cry.

  Stepping into Cruz, I dropped my head to his chest and felt his arms engulf me. He held me tight while I took in a few deep breaths. When I had calmed myself enough, I looked up at him and asked, “Will you spend the night with me?”

  He brushed a stray hair away from my face and admitted, “I actually planned for that. That’s why I packed a bag. It’s out in the truck, but I’ll get it in the morning. Let’s lock up and set the alarm.”

  After accomplishing that task, I asked, “Have you had dinner? Did you want me to make you something?”

  “I’m good,” he responded.

  I watched as Cruz moved to the couch and it hurt my heart. He was here because he knew I needed him and he was going to sacrifice a decent night’s sleep again by staying on the couch.

  “Cruz?”

  He turned around to look at me and wondered, “Yeah, Lex?”

  I held out my hand and admitted, “I’d be alright with you staying in my bed with me tonight. It’s bigger than the couch and probably a lot more comfortable.”

  He was surprised by my invitation.

  “Are you sure? I don’t mind the couch. I just want to make sure you’ve got someone here if you start feeling uneasy about what happened earlier tonight and it wakes you in the middle of the night.”

  “I couldn’t even fall asleep,” I confessed. “I’d really love having you next to me tonight.”

  With a grin on his face, he walked back to me, put his hand in mine, and instructed, “Lead the way.”

  I walked us down the hall to my bedroom. While Cruz sat on the edge of the bed and removed his shoes, I climbed under the blankets and put my head on the pillow. He turned back to look at me before he dropped to his back.

  “Is that how you normally sleep?” I questioned him.

  “What do you mean?”

  I laughed. “I mean, in full clothing on top of the covers.”

  He dropped his head to the side and his expression was light. “It’s not, but I’m also not looking to overstep any boundaries here.”

  “So, tell me how you normally sleep then,” I urged.

  “Usually just in a pair of boxer briefs,” he divulged. “And always under the blankets.”

  “Then I’d like you to do that if you’re comfortable that way.”

  Cruz turned toward me and brought his hand to the side of my neck. “I’m not going to make myself comfortable at the expense of causing you discomfort.”

  “Well,” I started. “Then you should know that if you fall asleep on top of the blankets, that will cause me plenty of discomfort. This is because then I won’t be able to steal the covers and make sure they’re wrapped tight around me.”

  He held my eyes, but didn’t respond.

  I went on, “In all seriousness, Cruz, I want you to be comfortable. It’s important to me because you are the reason I’m now comfortable doing things I’ve not been able to do in a long time.”

  And that was the truth. He’d proven to me so many times already that I could trust him. I didn’t have doubts that he’d be respectful.

  “You’ve got to make me a promise then,” he stressed.

  “What’s that?”

  “If I strip off the pants and the shirt, you’ve got to promise you’re not going to fall in love with me.”

  I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Excuse me?”

  Cruz laughed and clarified, “I want you to fall in love with me, Princess, but I’m more than just a hot body. I’ve got a brilliant mind and it’s much sexier, don’t you think?”

  “Are you trying to get me to admit that I think you’ve got a great body?” I accused him.

  He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head.

  I watched the muscles in his back and his arms flex with his movements. He stood, with his back to me, and worked at the waistband of his pants before he pushed them to the floor.

  Wow.

  He had a great ass.

  I was admiring his ass when he turned around. That’s when I swallowed hard and my lips parted. I was now looking at his…well, his front.

  He cleared his throat and my eyes moved slowly up his body. The corners of his mouth had tipped up and I could tell he was trying to stifle the laughter threatening to take over.

  There was no way I could speak, so I pulled the blankets back, indicating he could climb under.

  And he did.

  He rolled to his side so that he was facing me and took my hand in his. We stayed like that a long time. Cruz was offering me comfort and safety while I took the time to appreciate his sweet gestures. It filled me with such warmth to know he realized how taxing my evening had been on my mental state and he took the initiative to find a way to be here for me. Offering to sleep on the couch and then remaining dressed and uncomfortable in my bed, I couldn’t help but fall a little harder for this man.

  No matter how great my thoughts of Cruz were, I couldn’t stop the events of the day from taking over.

  “She was brutalized,” I whispered.

  Cruz’s hand tightened around mine.

  “I can’t help thinking if I fought back the way she did, it could have been that much worse for me. Listening to her, I began wondering if I should feel grateful that what I experienced wasn’t as violent.”

  “Lexi,” Cruz’s voice was firm. “No matter how awful someone else’s experience may be, it does not diminish what happened to you. It doesn’t make yours not as bad. Nothing about rape is good.”

  “I know,” I sighed. “I just…I can’t help it. She’s been terrorized and it’s devastating, but I think she’s going to be ok. The strength she already shows is unbelievable. She called her friend right away and sought out help. She told me about it and she doesn’t even know me. And one of the things I kept thinking was how I wish I had been strong enough to tell the people who would have been there for me.”

  “You did,” he assured me.

  I rolled my eyes and pointed out, “Yeah…four years later.”

  “It doesn’t matter how long it took you. Everyone responds differently and everyone heals differently. Even if you didn’t tell anyone, it wouldn’t make you weak. You’re still here; you’re living and succeeding. You’re just as strong as anyone else.”

  I let his words sink in a minute before I wondered, “How’d you get to be so smart?”

  Cruz gave me his most handsome grin and responded, “I told you my mind was sexy.”

  I burst out laughing.

  When I stopped laughing I noticed Cruz was just watching me.

  “Thank you for being here for me tonight,” I murmured. “You have no idea how much it means to me.”

  “I care about you, Lex. When you need me, I’m going to be here for you. Simple as that.”

  I closed my eyes and felt his words deep in my heart.

  When I opened them, I challenged, “Since I’ve admitted that your mind is sexy, is there any way you’d be willing to allow me to get close
to your body? I would love for you to hold me in your arms tonight; I feel safe there.”

  “Then you better get your ass over here.”

  I scooted over toward him. Cruz wrapped his arm around my waist and began turning me. I was so caught off guard, I squealed, “What are you doing?”

  “Spooning you. I can’t do that if you’re facing me,” he replied. “Are you alright with that?”

  I thought for a moment before I agreed.

  The next thing I knew I was wrapped in Cruz’s arms and he was spooning me. A few minutes later, I felt myself drifting.

  “Good night, Cruz,” I said.

  He pressed a kiss to my shoulder before he returned, “Good night, Princess.”

  Then, he nuzzled his face in my neck, pulled my body tighter to his, and squeezed. I had to admit how good it felt to be there with him, feeling nothing but peace, safety, and a whole lot of good feelings. Cruz had gone well beyond the call of duty. While he took the time to listen to my fears and reservations about the situation, he spent most of the time successfully distracting me from what was causing me anxiety. I’d had a crappy evening and he made it better by bringing joy and laughter. He let me talk about what was upsetting me, but he didn’t let me fall too deep into the hurt I was feeling. Most importantly, he made sure I was going to fall asleep feeling content. I couldn’t get over how happy that made my heart feel.

  On that thought, I cuddled further into Cruz and fell asleep.

  Cruz’s soft lips pressed to the skin at the side of my neck woke me the next morning. I didn’t open my eyes, but I was awake. It was hard not to be. Somehow, it seemed as though I spent the entire night wrapped up in Cruz’s arms and didn’t move at all. I couldn’t even begin to process how much I enjoyed waking with him there next to me.

  Sadly, I couldn’t stay in bed with him because I had things to get done and I’m sure he had a full day ahead of him as well.

  But I was going to give myself a few more minutes to soak up all that I was feeling being tucked tight to his body. So, I took a few minutes.

  When I had sufficiently soaked up all the Cruz I could, I slowly started to stretch out my body. Cruz’s lips continued to kiss me. As I shifted my body and turned toward him, he didn’t allow the movement to break the connection between his mouth and my skin. I loved it.